Not only because you're constantly afraid that someone will mistake you for a bikini-wearing man; but also because you are literally crippled with boob-envy. BOOBS. EVERYWHERE. You can't even nip to the loos at the top of the beach without having someone's ginormous G-cup thrust into your face as you're washing your hands. Bikini shopping is almost as hard as bra shopping - those padded bikini tops you love to buy always end up with the padding twisted up inside the cups and hanging out the sides because there're no chest assets to hold it still, so you usually get out of the sea looking like you've just climbed out of a long spin on a washing machine.