15 Problems Only London Commuters Will Understand

By Jonathan Milward /

12. Dawdlers

So, you€™ve been doing the commute for some time now and you€™ve got your journey down to a fine art. If by €˜fine art€™ you mean limiting the awfulness to somewhat manageable levels. You€™ve got a route, a system, established shortcuts and codes of conduct. You€™ve got your favourite spot on the train, your preferred exit strategy and your walking speed is up to new and almost inhuman levels. You have efficient methods of carrying out every single stage of the operation. Your pièce de résistance is a technique for the ticket barriers where you insert and then collect your season ticket almost instantaneously. You approach the barrier, ready to breeze through it as if it weren€™t even there when what should happen? A dawdler bumbles in front of you. Oh and what€™s this? They don€™t even know where their ticket is. F*ck you, dawdler.