On the subject of news stories, in 2009 Bank Quay station put up signs on the platforms to discourage Warringtonian men from dressing up as Don Draper and kissing Maggie Simpson. Apparently, all that kissing we were getting up to was resulting in "national delays" to the trains. They took the signs down two months later when they realised the kissing had only increased, not decreased. Might as well say it, Britain is envious of us right now. And if they're not, they should be.