Mate, it's not a bird if it doesn't wake you up at 5am with the blood-curdling scream of a 90s horror movie heroine and then dive bomb you on your way to work before flying away in a blaze of feathers so spectacularly coloured, so radiantly beautiful that you have to forgive it. Sure, the pigeons are bigger but is that something worth applauding? What is even the point of sparrows? Is there a single non-grey bird in this whole town? You don't miss ibises though. Ibises can stay where they are.