While we're on the subject... you know the staff member calling in isnt really ill. You saw the pictures they posted online last night and early this morning, and you can hear their mates trying to be quiet in the background as they drunkenly pretend to have some sort of heinous plague. Now youre one down on the bar and need to call around to replace the skiving git... except you might as well just ask them to pass the phone around whatever squat or free party theyve ended up at, because (see previous entry) thats where all your staff went after you closed up last night, wasnt it? Jesus suffering Christ.