Apologies to the butchers of the world- it's time to change your signs. Maybe people will fancy some roast cow chunks for their Sunday lunch? Or a bit of bovine bolognese for dinner? A tasty grilled cattle carcass? No? Anyone? Whatever words you choose to use, beef has to go. Because despite cows being reasonably chilled out animals (just look at their big soppy eyes), the existing word for their meat has somehow been appropriated as a term for dumb arguments and pointless objections to every day events. Every time a celebrity expresses an opinion in opposition to another celebrity, they're not fighting, they have BEEF. Your local puts up the price of pints? BEEF. Your favourite contestant kicked off Bake-Off? Ooh, you better believe you and Mary Berry have BEEF. It's a completely nonsensical, non-descriptive word for disagreements and it's been used to the point of saturation. The internet isn't even sure where the term originated, so it's entirely possible this was a conspiracy by PETA to convince the world that eating cows creates conflict. Also, consider the confusion it creates. You tell a friend you're coming to see them because you have beef and they'll spend the whole day wondering if you're bringing a barbecue or a punch in the face.