I dont waste time shaving Might as well start with an obvious one. If were being totally truthful and transparent here, beards didnt exist at all until Pirlo invented them. Prior to the 2012/2013 season, facial hair was a thing that no human being, God, Sun-God, creature, fable, poem or ingenious imagination could ever possibly create. Until Andrea Pirlo did. He stepped out with such fantastical face furniture that the entire world collectively gasped and shit its liver out with awe. And it isnt entirely coincidental that the appearance of his facial fuzz aligned with an upturn in form, wisdom, attractiveness and devastating cool for Pirlo in what should have been the waning twilight of his career. Not only do you want to caress that wizened crumb catcher but its clear that its the source of all his resurgent new powers. There should be national holiday for it. In every country. All over the world.