Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 9: 8 Times Larry David Was A Social Assassin

8. "Big Vagina"

They say that 'size doesn't matter', but any guy will tell you that as soon as a rumour begins to spread about their purported 'shortcomings', all those maxims about the 'motion of the ocean' suddenly count for zilch.

Logically, the ratio of small male genitalia to large varieties of the female counterpart should be about even. It's a theory Larry's agent, Jeff, professes to his client after falling victim to the 'small penis' accusation through a mutual friend. "These big vagina ladies are getting away with murder," he laments.

Most ordinary people would let such postulations remain behind closed doors. Not our enterprising hero though, who confronts Jeff's slanderer, positing her possession of an unnaturally spacious, er, passage. It doesn't end there. When a prized baseball goes walkabouts from Richard Lewis' bedroom, Larry turns full pornographic-Poirot in suggesting his nurse - she of the big you-know - stuffed the keepsake up her vacuous groin pocket and marched right out of there.

Despite the disgusted reaction it draws, the gynecological sleuth is proved correct - thanks to his own stolen cellphone ringing from within the depths of the supposed-thief's nether regions. Talk about good vibrations.