In a plot development almost nobody saw coming yet makes total sense, Suzanne Crazy Eyes Warren has become Orange Is The New Blacks answer to E.L. James. Encouraged to write by Counsellor Rogers for drama class, her mind churns out time-travelling erotica, The Time-Hump Chronicles. Taystee calls it worse than Fifty Shades (to which Poussey replies not possible.) yet it gains a huge following throughout the prison, who constantly demand the next chapter and then the next one after that. One of the best twists is that the novels main character, Space Admiral Rodcocker, is actually based on a guard at Litchfield: old, bald, no-nonsense Officer Donaldson. He doesnt take too kindly to being the subject of Suzannes literature, and his complaints to Caputo put a stop to it (something shes later grateful for when she discovers fan-fiction), but her method of thinking of s**t and writing it down was great while it lasted.