This segment is difficult not to completely adore. First, a little context: Leslie is throwing a fancy gala to raise money to build her park on Lot 48, and part of her plan to get the word out is to send Ron (in her place, because Jamm is causing trouble) on Pawnee Today with Joan Callamezzo. Joan is recently divorced, and just got back from a booze cruise, and is thus beyond hungover, falling asleep almost instantly. So, what does Ron do? He takes calls, obviously. Ron, being the steely, no-nonsense Libertarian that he is, answers audience questions very directly and honestly. This leads to several gems: "After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan-fried in salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep." and "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless." Also, "Don't trust big banks or small banks. Banks are Ponzi schemes run by morons." and "Your house isn't haunted, you're lonely." All the while, Joan is moving around in various odd sleeping positions with a container of coconut water.