South Park: 10 Times Eric Cartman Got What He Deserved

10. Kyle ‘Beats Up’ Cartman

Episode: It’s Christmas in Canada (Season 7, Episode 15)

Cartman hates almost everyone but Kyle might be the contender for his ultimate most hated.

Cartman is pushed to his limits when he is roped into his friend’s misadventures as they go to Canada to look for Kyle’s missing brother, Ike. This occurs on Christmas Eve so Cartman makes a serious threat that if they’re not back home in time for Christmas, he will fight Kyle.

With relief, Ike is safely reunited with his brother Kyle, at the expense of missing Christmas day, but Cartman is selfishly infuriated that he’s missing his presents. It gets heated as Eric literally throws off his gloves and jacket with fists at the ready. Kyle very reluctantly gives in to his threatening speech and throws the lightest punch possible. Cartman’s reaction? To immediately stop fighting and begin wailing out in agony whilst calling for his mom.

We’ve seen Cartman take a punch before (more on that later) and we’ve seen him take it without crying but this particular instance is utterly hilarious because he’s been toughly berating Kyle with the threat of a beating and yet turns out to be a complete coward the second he receives the lightest hit. It’s typical Cartman – all bark and no bite.