The Simpsons: 25 Best Church Marquees

By Jay Anderson /

9. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Salvation

To be frank, you probably weren't going to make it to heaven anyway. However, why you'd need a shirt or shoes for salvation is a bit of a mystery. That said, Reverend Lovejoy apparently feels them to be necessary, so you'd best have them close by. This notice was posted in the season seven episode Bart Sells His Soul, where Bart sells his "soul" to Milhouse, only to find himself strangely unhappy after the transaction is complete. A kidney might have been a better option...