The Sopranos: Ranking Every Main Character Worst To Best

15. Artie Bucco

Artie is that one guy in a friendship group who gloms onto the tougher kids to keep himself insulated - the Richard Hammond of The Sopranos, if you will. The restaurateur and wannabe Casanova starts the show as an important connection to Tony’s life pre-mob, but his efforts to carry himself like a gangster while staying out of any real trouble make him a grating presence.

A walking midlife crisis, Artie can’t help but fall in love with the various young women he employs at Vesulvio. More often than not, these women are involved with the mobsters who frequent the restaurant, and frequently result in humiliation for Artie.

His nadir comes when he gets involved loaning money to an acquaintance. He tries to handle his business like his good pal Tony, but ends up making a major fool of himself, and a botched suicide attempt leaves him in debt to the mob and firmly in Tony’s bad books.

It seems the writers run out of Artie material as the show rolls on and becomes increasingly serious; with all the other drama going on, Artie’s self made problems seem impossibly minor.