The Umbrella Academy: Ranking Every Character Worst To Best

Seven gifted children, but not all as gifted as the others...

By Simon Gallagher /

Netflix

You really have to hand it to Netflix. Almost at the exact same time that they announce the end of their Marvel programming with the cancellations of Jessica Jones and The Punisher, they've scored arguably an even bigger hit than most of those later series with a completely atypical comic book TV show.

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Based on Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba's exceptional comics, The Umbrella Academy is a rivetting, dark antithesis to the usual comic book adaptations, from the moment it begins to the explosive ending. And it's a joy to watch all the way through, introducing a host of characters who range from the sublime to the ridiculous.

There are also a collection of supporting characters who recur a few times like Chuck Beaman (a pretty poor detective figure), Klaus' boyfriend Dave, Lance Biggs from the false eye lab and The Conductor (played by Peter Outerbridge, who delightfully played Josef Grool in Cool Runnings), but when ranking the show's characters, it's best to stick with the mains. But who is best?

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Warning: some spoilers are within.

Worst

16. Detective Patch

NetflixUnfortunately for Detective Eudora Patch, she's neither a good police officer nor a particularly well-fleshed out character. She exists mostly as a point of contact between the Academy and the police and her past relationship with Diego gives him something interesting in his past to make him seem more human. Beyond that, she's not particularly notable.

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She's mostly remarkable for her part in advancing Diego's story, which is never a good sign and for the fact that her name being Eudora means that she and Diego combine to make a possibly accidental reference to Dora The Explorer and her cousin Diego (of Go, Diego, Go! fame). When that's what you're thinking about when she appears, it's probably not the best