10 Intellectual Wrestling Gimmicks (With Varying Levels Of Success)
Some folks have the brain of a dehydrated BB. Others are geniuses of wrestling.
There are all kinds of smarts in wrestling. People can be ring savvy or technically brilliant. They can be topnotch politicians who show their intelligence behind the scenes. Some read the crowd better than anyone else and tailor their matches accordingly. There are also those who never shine the brightest, but manage to work for decades by hitching their wagon to another wrestler's star. *coughcoughBrutustheBarberBeefcakecoughcough*
There have been surprisingly few wrestling gimmicks that hinged on the intellectual superiority of the performer. There have been plenty of kings, bruisers, giants, and monsters. But when it comes to teachers, professors, doctors, and geniuses, the list is far far smaller.
But it shouldn't be. A proper intellectual gimmick is a brilliant heat magnet in the world where, oftentimes, the most athletic shine, be they the fastest, the biggest, or the strongest. Those who manage to manipulate, cajole, and deceive their way to victory often earn the enmity of the fans. (Unless you're Eddie Guerrero, that is. Nobody could earn a babyface pop for a low blow like Eddie.)
Whether they earned top honors in school or leveraged more hard-won intelligence to their advantage, let's look at ten wrestlers who, by various degrees, trafficked in intellectual gimmickry.
10. Matt Striker
As "Your Teacher," Matt Striker lorded his superior intellect over both the audience and his opponents, but it never translated to success in the ring. Despite a promising run as part of the ECW New Blood storyline, he and the other ECW newcomers (Marquis Cor Von, Elijah Burke, and Kevin Thorne) were all basically patsies to help build CM Punk.
There's no denying both the character and the man are sharp cookies. But you'd think a smart man would know better than to go toe-to-toe with ECW's 'Chair-Swinging Freak', Balls Mahoney. Particularly whilst wearing tights with his own face on the ass.
But I digress. They say those who can't do, teach, and I guess after that, they do commentary. At least, I'd rather hear him drop references to the Jumping Bomb Angels or Charlie Brown from Outta Town than fumble around in the ring.