10 MORE TERRIBLE Decisions We Have Made As The Authority Of WWE

10. Implemented The Wild Card Rule

We took on a mammoth task, that fateful evening of December 17, 2018. We had to juggle several responsibilities, appease several masters.

According to the man we succeeded, Vince McMahon, ratings are down largely as a result of a recent injury crisis over which we have little control. This sh*t ain't ballet. We'd rather call it ballet than "wrestling", but the point still stands. In an earlier investor call, Vince recognised dwindling live event business. He advised investors that the concept is "antiquated". Reimagining the business model is on the agenda. No investors pointed this out, but WWE is facing yet another crisis: a demoralised roster, many of which have either requested their release, or are running down their contracts.

So how do we address these key issues? How do we address these key issues in the f*cking dumbest, most farcical, least popular manner imaginable?

Wild Card, bitches!

To prevent a further injury crisis, we...have elected to overwork the top stars by booking them on consecutive flagship shows, the performance level required of which is more demanding than the fun, comedic stalling of the house show loop.

To reimagine the live event model, we...cancelled several at the last minute, thus killing several towns.

To motivate the talent roster, we...have banished over half of them to catering.

But this is all in service of you, the fans. You want to see the top stars! From different angles, again and again and again and again and again!