10 Most Humiliating Wrestling Moves
The Elite want wrestling to feel like a rock concert - and they can actually play an instrument...
Recently, the 'storytelling" discourse kicked off on social media (again).
There is no such thing as a random match. The pursuit of championships is the fundamental narrative framework of pro wrestling in its traditional context, and to ensure this is credible, virtually every TV show should have a random match:grudge match ratio heavily weighted to the former. Grudge rivalries should mutate from the title chase; only when a personal conflict becomes too intense to ignore should a wrestler abandon it.
Winning a match to advance up the card isn't just a story in and of itself; without that anchor of a philosophy, wrestling makes no sense at all. You can't "tell stories" without it.
You can tell stories without a microphone. You can tell stories without a 20 minute promo duel. You can tell stories without black goo. You can tell stories that needn't span months of television; if anything, if everything goes too long, the sense of contrivance intensifies. Wrestling needs more pissy, explosive rivalries like CM Punk Vs. Eddie Kingston. That's how real hatred works.
You can also tell stories using something called "wrestling moves", and one such type of wrestling move is delivered with pure disdain designed to disrespect the opponent - the lovely, stirring byproduct of which is often a killer comeback.
This sort of comeback is rather a lot better than a terrible scripted promo retort along the lines of "Mr. Ziggles"...
10. Orange Cassidy's Lazy Kicks
Orange Cassidy does not "break" "kayfabe", as if there is any integrity attached to the concept anymore.
Orange Cassidy breaks the psyche of his opponents.
He isn't a tough guy. He's resilient, and in the best sly punchline of all, packs a sensational worked punch - but he isn't an imposing guy nor a formidable physical specimen. To accentuate his positives and hide the negatives, he has cultivated a style totally distinct to himself.
Nobody actually sells the humiliating move in question: the lazy kicks delivered casually with his hands in his pockets. That is the weirdest prevailing narrative in certain circles, but then, it is deliberately obtuse bullsh*t.
So not that weird.
Cassidy "unloads" these kicks to embarrass his opponents, who are embarrassed to even wrestle a man of Cassidy's disposition in the first place. They lunge forward in fury, but Cassidy is such a superb escapologist that he outsmarts them - like every great babyface should - every time. From there, Cassidy has them. The heels wrestle with impulsive emotion and leave themselves prone to thoughtless error. This enables his chess move of a grand comeback deeper in the match, which the fans invariably get behind because his work is as witty as it is athletically impressive.
He does much of this with his hands in his pockets, and it's not just some amusing irony indie bit: he is conveying to his hapless opponents that he's better than them with one hand tied behind his back.
Only, putting both hands in his pockets is a better mind game and works beautifully in the parameters of his endearing slacker character.