10 Stages Of Life As A Wrestling Fan

10. Fascination

To the impressionable young minds predisposed to it, the very sight of the living cartoon superheroes of pro wrestling is like no other.

We were all Vince McMahon…as children: awe-struck and delighted by the sheer, rippling, tanned mass these stupendously massive men boasted and the amazing feats of athleticism of which they were capable. McMahon, then, is a man child who has taken to throwing his toys out of the pram because they’re not as big as they used to be.

Well, the height met by Hulk Hogan’s big boot passed for a feat of athleticism to those who didn’t know any better - likely because he cast of spell of pure selling magic throughout the eight or ten minutes beforehand. Bewitched by our new hero in a state of impossible physical anguish, several children were mesmerised by his ability to overcome. And, when he did, it genuinely felt like we helped him in his plight.

Hulk, for many, was the entry point to pro wrestling. The sight of the bronzed God on the lightning-blasted purple VHS WrestleMania videotapes was like a portal into a world in which the impossible was made possible, live and in technicolour - and, to our untrained eyes, it was all real.

The endorphin-triggering, triumphant entrance themes; the preposterous costuming; the molten heat of huge arena crowds - we’re all asked at several point in our lives what draws us to “fake wrestling”.

Viewed through the eyes of a six year-old, what wouldn’t?