10 WWE Things That Are Impossible To Believe In

10. Commentary

While misty-eyed recollections of the Attitude Era are often the preserve of the forgetful, there was something magical about JR and the King's commentary. JR's moral compass steered the rampant WWF just far enough away from the gutter, his passion doing so much to immerse the crowd into the action. The King meanwhile was a terrific, giddy wit in his pomp. Sharing a wonderful, ineffable chemistry, Ross and Lawler were as invested as the white hot crowds, creating a wonderful cacophony.

Michael Cole is an automaton bellowing emotionless marketing jargon (and, to stretch the comparison further, Charly Caruso and Dasha Fuentes are actual robots assembled on literally the same production line).

You cannot believe a word Cole is saying despite the best efforts at repetition we can only infer is used to bludgeon us into acceptance. Vince McMahon's infamous aversion to pronouns, pal doesn't help. With this mentality married to Stephanie McMahon's marketing checklist, the result is an endless churn of nicknames and clichés made even more unbearable than it appears on the surface; they do this because they deem the audience too stupid to grasp what is hardly arthouse cinema. The irony is that this method of "storytelling" only serves to "create separation" between the desk and the armchair.

Unenthusiastic; repetitive; insulting to the intelligence: WWE commentary is propaganda without the conviction. Unlistenable, at its worst.