5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (May 24)

5. Bobby's Sisters

Pictured: Bobby Lashley being literally held back by harrowing comedy in a potent visual metaphor for the absolute state of this company.

WWE produced a segment worse than This Is Your Life on Monday. In it, Sami Zayn dragged out three Indy wrestlers in drag from the back to play Bobby Lashley's sisters who, on this evidence, might as well just give up now. Their acting was shocking. The material was shocking. The segment itself wasn't shocking, because this is the sort of drivel we've come to expect from a company you cannot believe is about to bank one billion dollars from Fox over the next five years. Sami asked each "sister" to assassinate Lashley's character, mirroring the unintended result of the angle IRL before Bobby retreated from the back to do a worse impression of a smiling eh-who-gives-a-toss John Cena than Cena himself managed last year. Before all that, "Frances" had the following to say about her upbringing.

"Bobby would take his knuckle and he would hit me on the top of his head as hard as he could."

There was such a strange specificity about this line that you have to wonder what went on in that trailer park when McMahon was a wean. Was this both a rancid comedy segment and a cry for help?

This strange oscillation - WWE has never been in a healthier financial position, and has never offered a product so drastically sh*tty - is enough to cause a migraine. The only way to rid oneself of it, on Monday’s evidence, is to smash your head into the f*cking wall. With half of your brain smeared across it, you'd still find a way to put Lashley over better than that room of utter hacks.