5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Oct 5)

5. DISTRACTION CITY

On RAW, much of the matches are much of a muchness. Trying say that five times, and Vince McMahon will probably give you a push over Tyler Breeze, because he enjoys alliteration more than talents who have forged a genuine bond with the audience. He also, on Monday’s evidence, enjoys promoting his acts as utter morons. No less than three matches ended when a heel distracted a babyface. Viktor distracted Bobby Roode en route to victory by brutalising Chad Gable, in a grim premonition of what will happen to his career in, at this rate, about three weeks.

Incidentally, Konnor of the Ascension just defeated Bobby Roode on this week’s RAW. The guy had more upward mobility when he wrestled in GFW, for f*ck’s sake.

Later in the night, Seth Rollins fought Drew McIntyre. Rollins, distracted by the interfering Ziggler, fell prey to the Claymore Kick. McIntyre built m o m e n t u m. Rollins looked like a dimwit. So, too, did Bobby Lashley, who was rolled up by Kevin Owens when distracted by Elias.

If you want to beat a WWE Superstar, just dangle a set of shiny keys in their stupid, vacant, f*ck-witted faces.

And, on SmackDown, that plagiarist Road Dogg booked a similar finish in the main event, as Shelton Benjamin, and not Andrade Almas—missing an opportunity to hand him a notable win, and a spot of beloved 50/50 booking—defeated Daniel Bryan after The Miz distracted him. WWE could cease and desist with the guest commentator trope, but where’s the fun in making babyfaces look marginally intelligent?

Essentially, the WWE roster is at this point the Divas division of 2010: portrayed as just a bunch of total airheads, with the only real distinction being that John Laurinaitis doesn't jerk off over them.