6 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Dec 15)

6. HHH: Job For Me, Jinder

For Christ's sake.

How do you approach something like this without descending into full neckbeard parody?

It's impossible. WWE is hardly going to peak at a Triple H pinfall win over Jinder Mahal in his ancestral homeland - but it's peak WWE, regardless. What's happened here is that, after months and months of cheap, dismal, contrived TV, the net result is a Triple H ego trip, even though the man usually only sparingly wrestles on RAW. Every performer on WWE TV is somehow subservient to the McMahon family. WWE took this cynical non-insight and formalised it by having Jinder bow at his crotch. Suck that, you godd*mn failure.

The message is clear: you're not allowed to fail on your own terms - and if you fail on our terms, you're still knackered. It's no loss - Jinder Mahal was hardly going to become more of a failure - but somehow, they made it so. It's harder to tell what would whiff more of bullsh*t - an AJ Styles retention at Sunday's Clash of Champions, all but telegraphed because Triple H is Triple H - or an out-of-the-blue Jinder win, rendered senseless because Triple H is Triple H.

"When his push fails, WWE will job Jinder out to Triple H in India."

Imagine writing that the day after SummerSlam, and not appearing like an absolute virgin.