7 Match Star Ratings For WWE WrestleMania Backlash

7. KICKOFF: Sheamus Vs. Ricochet

There wasn't a great deal to this.

Ricochet wore jeans, and not some ambitious and now sadly ironic superhero get-up, which made him look slightly less of a dork. But then he looked like a massive geek in the post-match, so he might as well have dusted off his Arm-Fall-Off-Boy get-up.

The match was a Kickoff match designed to get Sheamus over. When it flirted with actually realising the amazing potential of the pairing, we glimpsed how a competent company might book this match, from a distance and through a smudged window. The last narrow Brogue Kick counter from the 630 senton attempt was briefly exhilarating. Briefly. Then the match ended.

Seriously: what the f*ck is it with babyfaces in WWE? Why are they such little t*ssers, man? Is it because Vince McMahon is such a garbage human being that he can no longer recognise, much less promote, good characteristics?

Ricochet lost clean in the middle and spat his dummy in the post-match. He tried to steal Sheamus' hat, which would have looked lame, and it looked lamer because it fell off immediately. I'll show you, Ricochet seemed to convey...by wearing the hat beloved of "m'lady" creeps, for like one second.

He then put the hat and coat back on, did a little dance with a punch-me-square-in-the-f*cking-nose facial expression, and scarpered out of the ring. What a complete d*ck. Just the worst person alive.

And you were meant to be amused by this!

Star Rating: ★★½