7 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (August 4)

7. Dave's Song

Vince Russo isn't a fan of Dave Meltzer. That might have something to do with the fact that his analytical breakdown of Russo-era Nitro ratings conclusively prove that he was a bust as head booker. Which made his touching 'Your Song' tribute to Dave a week or so back rather odd.

The swerve is that this wasn't a tribute song, but a diss! Whoa.

Never in your life will you hear anything as nails-on-chalkboard embarrassing, unlistenable, as this. Russo begins his impression of Elton John - who being homosexual should be an affront to Russo's born again Christianity, but let's not look for logic where there is none - by declaring that "It's a little bit funny - Dave's ass is quite wide." What's actually funny is that Meltzer is improbably ripped. He's in considerably better shape than Russo. But let's not look for logic where there is none.

If he had any talent, Meltzer would "buy a big ring and fly like Finn," Russo continues, with the vocal dexterity of Jillian Hall. He's not meant to be able to sing. But this is meant to be funny, and it's not. "He gave you five stars! He gave you five stars!" Russo screams, raging against the so-called "smark" wrestling subset...who he exclusively pandered to in late 2000 WCW to disastrous effect. Just when you think he's a hypocrite, he hits you with his trademark swerve - it turns out he's an idiot.

Even his co-host, Jeff Lane, involuntarily winces throughout the entire ordeal.