8 Schizophrenic Wrestlers Who Couldn't Figure Out Who They Were
Are you a voodoo practitioner, shoot fighter, pimp or what?
Poor old Damien Sandow, just as he seemed to be gaining momentum with his latest character, the former Idol Stevens’ split personality disorder rears its ugly head again and he has to start over with a new gimmick.
From being a teacher’s pet (as Stevens) to trying to instigate his own regime as Florida Championship Wrestling's militant reformer in a tag team with Titus O’Neill; by the time he was called up to the main roster, he was the intellectual saviour of the unwashed masses, before becoming a stunt double for The Miz.
Now the newly christened Macho Mandow has become a Randy Savage tribute act (which is a gimmick so stupid even TNA wouldn’t try it).
In the world of wrestling the word gimmick has a few meanings; promoters/wrestlers will use the intervals to sell their gimmicks (t-shirts, signed photos etc.), a gimmick can be used to describe a weapon or object used during a match (such as HHH's sledgehammer or Finlay’s shillelagh) or a loosely put together announcers table may be gimmicked to fall apart to lessen the impact on the wrestlers.
This list chooses to interpret the word gimmick to mean the character or persona portrayed by a wrestler...
8. Robert Bradley James
The offspring of “Bullet” Bob Armstrong (Brian, Robert, Scott & Steve) have competed under many gimmicks throughout their careers, the most successful being Brian as the Road Dogg in WWE, but the most numerous and worst gimmicks belonged to Robert aka Brad Armstrong.
When WCW decided he should be part of the Fabulous Freebirds, it initially must’ve seemed like a leap forward in his career.
Admittedly it was not the original Freebirds of Michael “PS” Hayes, Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy & Buddy “Jack” Roberts but it’s still the Freebirds!, the group may now consist of Hayes, Jimmy Garvin & Big Daddy Dink, but it’s still the Freebirds?. I’d join the Freebirds today, if offered, despite the fact that Michael Hayes’ long hair on an old man that has the consistency of doll hair creeps me out.
WCW BOOKERS: The thing is, because you’re so recognisable we think you should wear a mask
ARMSTRONG: Err, well, OK, I think, what about my name? Will it be an awesome Freebird name like Brad “Attitude” Armstrong?
WCW BOOKERS: Remember the mask?
ARMSTRONG: Oh yeah, what’s my name gonna be then?
WCW BOOKERS: Fantasia
ARMSTRONG: What? Like Mickey Mouse and dancing brooms?
WCW BOOKERS: Yeah, which is apt because you’re not really a main member, just their roadie?
ARMSTRONG: You might as well just call me The Roadie then……….. Brian stop listening into my conversations and go do some weights.
After his debut as Fantasia, the all-seeing, all knowing, all powerful Disney put a stop to these shenanigans because they own words.
BOOKER 1: What are we gonna call Brad if we can’t use Fantasia?
BOOKER 2: I don’t really care; I’m all about El Gigante this week
BOOKER 3: Fabulous. Freebird. Badstreet. Atlanta. Mr G.A.
BOOKER T: Badstreet it is
The next time the wheel of gimmicks landed on Brad the powers that be had learned from the Disney infringement situation and wouldn’t get caught out again...
BOOKER 1: We need a masked wrestler who is fun and exciting and will have the kids climbing the walls
BOOKER 2: What? Like a spider?
BOOKER 1: Kinda, but a man with spider like abilities
BOOKER T: Arachnaman it is
And so Arachnaman was born though the purple and yellow gear was vile. – doesn’t it make you angry when little children colour in well-known characters with the wrong colours “No!, traditionally The Hulk is not orange, no food for a week you stupid little…..”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3CMpkybKQE
The booking team had noted Brad’s ability to soldier on despite the bad gimmicks and realising that they had a faction called the No Limit Soldiers on their roster, they put two and two together and came up with a massive brain fart. Change his name to B.A. and align him with Master Ps hip hop group.
It could have been worse at least WCW weren’t using him to make jokes about his brother’s character in WWE. I say this because Buzzkill was not funny at all. – unlike Family Guys, Buzz Killington who is screaming out to be on Raw every week