Ranking Every Wrestling Wedding EVER!
For better or for worse...mostly worse.
Much like a contract signing, or a Spanish announce table being featured at a pay-per-view, when you see a wrestling wedding, you know it’s not likely going to end well. Ever since Vince McMahon took over the World Wrestling Federation from his father, he’s turned to wedding angles from time-to-time for a bit of a ratings boost. It seems that romance would be an odd fit in the world of WWE, but for some reason, fans tend to tune in to see how it will play out.
We’ve seen a wide variety of approaches to these weddings over the years. A couple have been done in a fairly sweet way, others veered more toward the outlandish side, while a few dipped into some risque material. However, almost all of them had something big go down for the "speak now or forever hold your peace" line. That's the moment we all wait for.
While there have been some genuine good feelings produced by these events, quite a few probably didn’t need to happen at all. But for long time fans, most of these ceremonies were at least memorable, even if they weren’t any good.
With Laurel Van Ness and Braxton Sutter recently tying the knot on Impact after a two week engagement (spoiler, it didn’t end well for the bride), now is the time to look back and celebrate the history of weddings in the world of televised wrestling.
So speak now or forever hold your peace as we rank them all!
21. Maxine And Johnny Curtis
Derrick Bateman (better known as EC III in TNA) was dating Maxine (better known as Catrina in Lucha Underground), until she dumped him and began dating Johnny Curtis (better known as Fandango in one-half of SmackDown’s least important tag team). The two dated briefly before deciding to get married on the 100th episode of NXT Redemption. It was pretty much complete nonsense, which seemed to be the theme of that show in general.
Since WWE was in Las Vegas for the night, they had Matt Striker dress up as Elvis to officiate the wedding. He was surprisingly decent with his impression, though it still felt tiring. Curtis had a best man who he just met the night before, and it was hard to hear what that guy had to say. There were also very minimal decorations to be had. Whoever thought of this wedding angle clearly didn’t have their heart in it.
Michael Cole at one point flat-out yells “Shut up!” and booed Striker’s impression. His utter disdain for the segment was the only thing fun about it. Or course, the two didn’t get married. Bateman interrupted and showed security footage of Curtis stealing his iPad from his locker, and sending an email to Teddy Long, which buried Maxine. However, Curtis only held the iPad for a couple seconds in the video, which was far too quick to log in and write anything, to which Cole replied, “That was like a one line email.”
Bateman and Maxine got back together, Curtis got beat up and the wrestling world collectively shrugged or didn’t watch at all.