You Won't Believe Bray Wyatt's New Gimmick
Wyatt Family Values.
Bray Wyatt made his long awaited return to Monday Night Raw in a segment that, less than 24 hours removed, feels like one of the company's all-time hail marys.
Paying off segments from the two post-WrestleMania Raws featuring a withered buzzard in a box and a subpar horror movie doll, the "Firefly Fun House" dropped a leg on the April 23rd flagship harder than Hulk Hogan himself. The (former?) 'Eater Of Worlds' asked audiences if they'd "missed him".
To the utter astonishment of everybody including your writer, the answer was apparently yes.
Ostensibly cast as the host of a dayglo childrens show, Bray addressed an unseen audience of hyped-up kids as well as cameras off to the side that never actually shot him. The entire thing carried echoes of the excitement that engulfed the initial Wyatt Family introductions, asking more questions than it answered with stylistic choices completely alien to the rest of the broadcast.
It wasn't the only reminder of his old self. Caustically changing tact as camera cuts appeared to be trying to allowing the old Bray to breathe, Wyatt rued his past life.
"I will never turn into that pathetic slob loser again", he lamented, before taking to a cutout of his former failed persona with a chainsaw."I'll always light the way, and all you have to do is let me in" was his closing refrain before an intentionally-daft jingle closed out the vignette.
On a Raw bookended by Baron Corbin matches, this was utterly mesmerising. More on the story if WWE allow it to develop...