'My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I've told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. 'Now before I spend ages telling you every minutiae of said adventures, including things there was no way I witnessed or was even aware of, let me tell you about another adventure. Its slightly relevant to my adventures, although once again dont question how I know it in such explicit detail. Oh, but before we get to the relevant things let me set up a town that bears no importance to my adventure or really the pre-adventure. There's also a dragon, but I dont feel I have the time to describe him just yet, even though I later saw him the flesh. 'Dont worry though. Once Ive told this story, that makes Galadriels rings monologue look like a slight childrens book, Ill excite you with washing-up songs and unmemorable dwarfs and, after a bit more exposition, well finally begin that journey I mentioned. It'll only take two short chapters/half a long film. 'Oh, I also forgot to mention this jewel thing which is kinda important, but Ill just mention that midway through because I think by then we'll be due some exposition.' - Bilbo Baggins
Im so glad to be back in Middle Earth. Know of any more rare films start terribly and end up quite good? Head to the comments and let us know.