10 New Year’s Resolutions There’s Absolutely No Point Making

By Chris Peet /

7. Read More Books

Yes, this is a genuine one. People really do have to write down a list that includes this promise, then read it back to themselves to remind them they have to read. Which, for people who have this resolution, automatically gives them a sense of accomplishment. They are the same kinds of people who think reading status updates on Twitter requires the same focus, concentration and critical thinking as reading a novel. Spoiler alert: it doesn€™t. But having to motivate yourself to read words on a page simply reinforces the tragic fact that you probably can€™t concentrate on anything beyond 140 characters without having to stop to push your tongue back into your mouth with your fingers. In fact, you probably haven€™t even got this far into this article have you? Just give up. When You€™ll Abandon It: chapter one, sentence three.