3. People Patting Their Bums Like The ASDA Adverts
It's not big, it's not clever, so why do people do it? It's happened a million times before, and it'll happen millions more before the end of time - people love doing that little pocket pat which came at the end of a "classic" ASDA advert from the 90's. If any Tesco staff member dares to drop any item, it's likely a swarm of people will descend on the area, offering to pick it up and desperately hoping you're kind enough to say "thank you". When you do, they smile like Kanye West when counting his money, say, "Every Little Helps" and then pat their behind twice. At this point, an alarm should go off, and said persons should be ejected from the store.