3. "Apu, If It'll Make You Feel Any Better, I've Learned That Life Is One Crushing Defeat After Another Until You Just Wish Flanders Was Dead" - Homer
Episode: Homer And Apu (5x13) After losing the Kwik-E-Mart, Homer tries to cheer Apu up by letting him know that life is a piece of crap anyway. When to use it: When someone steals your parking space.