9 Ups & 1 Down From Star Trek: Lower Decks 5.3 — The Best Exotic Nanite Hotel

11. UP — Are The Waterparks Of The Cosmic Duchess Dry? Really Dry?

We've quite (in-)famously had pleasure planets and resorts of all sorts in Star Trek, but never an "interstellar cruise ship the size of a moon," as Captain Freeman noted in her opening log. That in itself was surely a nod to Star Trek: The Cruise, which typically (now) takes place aboard one of the Royal Caribbean's 'Voyager-class' vessels (go figure!), including the 'Mariner of the Seas'.

With the 'Cosmic Duchess,' Lower Decks subverted our expectations once again. From the teasers and trailers, we had assumed this was a starbase (best resembling Starbase One). Instead, we got a floating — presumably warp-capable — tourist attraction with everything from climate zones to casinos, underwater dry parks (whatever they are) to slot machines for the Dixon Hill dilettantes and a suspiciously high mountain (… of entertainment). Even the Duchess' artificial sun 'knew' when you were sufficiently tanned!

Barclay might still want to hold onto the nose cream, however, if the Admiral's shade of red (after …Green) was anything to go by. Boimler certainly remained vigilant with the sunscreen (as we all should), later using it as lubricant to free his superiors. I don't know about you, but despite all the nanites — for which that sign did clearly apologise — I rather fancy a cruise.