10 Things Everybody Gets Wrong About WWE

8. The SmackDown Fist Will Cure All Ills

This is a subjective rant almost certainly unrelated to the brief, but f*ck me do you read it often enough.

And it's harmless, it is, but it's a desperate plea for something unrecoverable: bring back the SmackDown fist! The SmackDown fist is an inanimate object. Inanimate objects are unable to book compelling television programmes featuring popular and engaging stars. If WWE brought back the SmackDown fist, what, realistically, would you expect to happen? Do you think Vince would stand next to it wistfully, and, with old memories flooding back, decide to quit goofing around with Chad Gable? This fist reminds Vince of the old Kurt Angle, goddammit, and the fist will lead to a new era of intense, ass-kicking babyfaces! The fist is gonna stir something within the old man, by golly.

It's the same thing with Halloween Havoc. You want a '90s aesthetic, because it reminds you of a nice old nostalgic time, but WWE runs Halloween Havoc-adjacent shows, and they have Trick Or Treat Street Fights on them, in which goobers end up with pumpkins on their heads. Inanimate objects can't actively improve things, people. I cannot stress that enough.

You're cheering for an inanimate carbon rod!