10 Things Everybody Gets Wrong About WWE

7. "[Wrestler X] Should Turn Heel"

Really, WWE should turn every act heel because they are incapable of booking (writing) a halfway tolerable good guy.

It's astonishing.

WWE would make David Attenborough unlikeable with his "Save the world!" catchphrase, and Michael Cole's (Vince McMahon's) insistence on referring to a good, long offensive stretch as "preserving his advantage". You'd all come to resent the Cambridge Conservationist and his smug line readings of fairytales. You'd tell the 93 year-old epitome of mankind to f*ck off for not being CM Punk within months.

This is what the WWE system does: it takes magnetic, charismatic personalities and imposes God-awful promo material complete with sub-John Cena comedy routines onto them. The top WWE babyface is inherently awful. The great paradox is that they become less detestable after hitting somebody with a weapon shot and calling us all c*nts, or something. So of course X should turn heel. They should all turn heel. This will not solve anything.

What people are doing, when they fantasy book a heel turn, is delaying the inevitable. They are watching the pig fly through the air under the impression that they may yet eat it. Seth Rollins is just a little dorky, and maybe Kevin Owens won't encounter a McMahon this time.

It's still good! It's still good!