10 Worst Simultaneous WWE Heavyweight Champions
For when the titles don't make the men...
"It's bad enough that there's two titles in the first place", so sayeth older fans that were raised on the importance of the lone (and often beautiful) belt the men without trousers fought for in perpetuity, as was their modus operandi. But WWE's two dalliances with split brands since 2002 have just about justified the need for straps on both shows for the most part.
But then there are the dark periods.
Not to be confused with spells in which lifelong fans simply take wrestling breaks (something your writer perhaps should have indulged in a sanity-saving exercise once or twice over the last 30 years or so...), the dark periods in a two-title system cast shadows bigger than the ones left by bulky wrestlers themselves, and are substantially worse than when one sh*tty champion drags down the show.
Two top titles both being held by wrestlers not operating at the peak of their powers is effectively wrestling's saddest timeline, though it does at least create a window for the Superstar that steps in as a saviour.
It's the most subjective of debates, too. These forum views, for example, reflect that of the posters and most definitely not WhatCulture.com, but posit a hugely divisive pairing as a jumping off point. Let's analyse those first...
10. Kofi Kingston (WWE) & Seth Rollins (Universal) - 2019
Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins are, as per the aforementioned forum posts, "dog sh*t". The same poster notes that "Seeing Seth and Kofi as champions is making WWE feel more like a high school indie company than ever before. Both "champions" are horrifying bad. Awful in every single way imaginable."
The take is immediately countered with a number of individually horrific titleholders (some of whom are still to come in this list), but most opposing views fail to address the original criticisms of the 'Dreadlocked Dynamo' and the 'Beastslayer'.
"High school indie company" is the sort of rhetoric spouted about the wrestling world outside WWE by those that don't watch it. A vision of the industry's subsect as curated by the market leader to undermine potential threats to the bottom line, no matter how small. But how much does it apply to Kofi and Seth?
Both are drenched in WWE's branding and build, discounting everything they'd done before signing with the organisation. Booked into corners they've bravely fought their way out of over long and arduous runs on the main roster, the title wins were arguably more important than the reigns, especially when early indications suggest they'll always be in the shadow of the Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar superhero/villain archetype Vince McMahon will never abandon.
The jury's out, but the charge regretably isn't as baseless as it may first appear.