25 Most OUT OF POCKET WWE Attitude Era Moments

24. The Big Boss Man’s Heartfelt Eulogy

Heel Big Boss Man was an absolutely hilarious midcard performer. Gifted with a mouth through which even the more mundane words contrived to sound like a slur, he played his nasty asshole of a character to perfection. His character was simple. Uncouth and cheap, but effective. The Big Boss Man said the most disgusting, unconscionable sh*t imaginable, and thought his witless bullying was the funniest thing anybody had ever heard. 

Grief is horrible, but this is wrestling: you’ve got to generate that heat somehow, and bereavement affects everybody. It’s not specific to a marginalised group that really doesn’t need more of a kicking than they receive in everyday life.  

Paul ‘The Big Show’ Wight’s father had passed away a few years prior to 1999, but the WWF pretended that he had died in November. That way, Boss Man could be very nice and sympathetic towards him. Boss Man was so sad, on behalf of his locker room buddy, that he was spitting with rage. “How dare you start the grieving process without me?” Big Show said when he interrupted the ten-bell salute. He offered to recite a touching poem in order to articulate his intense feelings. 

“With the deepest regrets, and tears that are soaked, I’m sorry to hear that your dad finally croaked”. 

“Croaked” is a hilarious synonym of “died”, for starters, in that it reduces one’s very last moments to a horrible comedy sound effect.

“He lived a full life on his own terms - soon he’ll be buried, and eaten by worms”. 

Now that’s just vile. Not funny. You’re a bad person if you laugh at that. 

“So be brave, and be strong, get your life on track - ‘cause the old bastard’s dead, and he ain’t never comin’ back!”

That one-two punch combo, holy hell. An insult and a brutal reminder that he’s gone forever in the space of a millisecond. 

The Boss Man, of course, did not stop there…