25 Most OUT OF POCKET WWE Attitude Era Moments

25. D-Generation X Tear Michael Cole A New Asshole

The phrase “rip you a new asshole” is - mostly - a figure of speech. It’s a mere verbal threat. If somebody wants to physically attack you, they won’t actually rive your ass cheeks apart with such force that a second hole appears. They’ll just repeatedly punch you. Or, if they’re a pro wrestler, they’ll hope that you stand there long enough for them to dive through the ropes in order to execute a gentle shove. Because 1997 was the year in which so much new ground was broken, however, D-Generation X took this literally. 

Now, this might seem like typically crass Triple H comedy, but there is at least one more incredible level of cruelty to the gag. 

Michael Cole had only recently debuted for the WWF. Indeed, this was the purpose behind the bit; to give the new broadcaster a belated and ironic warm welcome. But Cole really was new and nervous, and was so eager to impress that he fashioned his goatee beard with surgical precision. Take a long look at that thing. It’s so uncannily precise in an “off” way that it almost looks like 2026 AI. Clearly, an anxious Michael Cole spent a very long amount of time and care in getting his “I’m on TV!” look perfect. Only for D-Generation X to almost literally tear him a new asshole.  

Chyna gave him a wedgie. It looked painful. Triple H decided that it wasn’t enough. Triple H then proceeded to lift the hapless geek so high up in the air that he could execute a slam dunk. His gooch would have looked like Abdullah the Butcher’s head after that. 

Very cruel at the time, but Cole became a bit of a bully himself towards Tony Chimel, so it’s probably fine.