30 Most INSANE Things Wrestlers Have EVER Said On Live TV
The good, the bad, the absolutely MAD and the ugly of what's somehow been said on wrestling TV
Professional wrestling has no one single set of rules, and this is often one of the most captivating aspects of following it. Unfortunately, professional wrestling has no one single set of rules, and this is often one of the most unpleasant aspects of following it.
The ability to say and do just about anything as long as it makes sense within the sketchy guidelines of a pro wrestling narrative universe is a gift that should always be treated with the utmost respect. Over time though, it has been used and abused by performers and promoters to take a relatively simple premise and escalate stakes beyond the pale, beyond good taste and in some cases beyond things the average human mind would even concoct. Sometimes, it's as simple as a single line that blows minds and/or relationships with audiences and television networks. Sometimes it's minor essays delivered to the wide eyes of those looking on. Sometimes the outcome is hilarious, sometimes it's horrifying.
Sometimes, awkwardly, it's a bit of both. And sometimes, only a full breakdown of every insane word will do...
(Content Warning: Many of these entries contain material or subject matter that was not suitable for air when it was broadcast, let alone now. Inappropriate language is censored wherever possible, but there will be further analysis on topics including but not limited to racism, homophobia and sexual assault. That's why, subsequently, this is merely a collection rather than a ranked list too)
30. New Jack's Prison Story
Sometimes, it's easier to let the great verbal storytellers simply tell their stories, and upon returning to the ECW Arena for Big Ass Extreme Bash on March 9th 1996, New Jack had some tales to tell.
Explaining the background behind his shocking return in New York one night earlier, he said;
"Maybe I'm losing my goddamn mind, I don't know. But for some reason, sitting in a motherf*cking Atlanta City jail for damn near five weeks, I was like "why right now I could be in the ring beating the f*ck out of somebody, but I'm sitting here looking at this motherf*cking TV? They made me watch that bullsh*t WCW. I jacked off that night, hard. I'm about tired of these motherf*ckers coming out here talking about Eric Bischoff. F*ck Eric Bischoff because I don't know him. I don't know Vince McMahon. I don't give a f*ck if you used to wrestle in WCW or WWF. They ain't ECW. True enough, they may be where the big boys play, but this is where the real motherf*ckers get down at...they got motherf*ckers that are 6'9, 6'10 but they don't know a headlock from a liplock so f*ck em all."
He was then interrupted by Headhunters representative Damien Kane, who pitched a match against The Gangstas for later on the show. Jack updates the match to get the belts on the line with Champions Too Cold Scorpio and The Sandman, but takes a scenic route for the ages. As it transpired, so did somebody else.
"The last time I was propositioned, it was Jim Cornette...the one that gets f*cked with the tennis racquet...I told Jim Cornette to suck my nuts. F*ck that. For five and a half goddamn weeks I sat in that motherf*cking jail for aggravated assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment, why? Because a motherf*cker owed me money, I kicked his ass, threw him in the trunk of my car, drove around with him in Atlanta for about eight hours, I forgot that b*tch was in the trunk, and then the cops had to come and knock on my door and remind me I left the motherf*cker in the trunk.
Let me tell you this - Scorpio, Sandman, if you think I've been on drugs, I'm looking to get on some. But I'll make this a little bit more blunt. Headhunters. Headshrinkers, Headstinkers, whatever your f*ckin name is...tonight, you put Scorpio, Sandman, Me, Mustafa and those fat motherf*ckers right here, put the Headhunters right here, and we'll have a three way motherf*cking deal in this motherf*cker to-motherf*cking-night."
Would you want to wrestle this man?