5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (April 12)
WHO you gonna brawl?
WrestleMania 34 was, in a word, insane.
Asuka's streak came to a shocking end. The rumours of Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho - even freelancer Minoru Suzuki, who was spotted in the audience - did not materialise. Braun Strowman did not get these good hands; he selected a child from the audience as his partner for either a lame one-off sight gag or because Vince McMahon confused young Nicholas for a 205 Live guy. AJ Styles Vs. Shinsuke Nakamura didn't deliver a dream match, but a slow-burning slog that at least erupted in the form of a direly-needed Shinsuke Nakamura heel turn. On the subject of "Shin", the man cut an absolutely hilarious promo on the subsequent SmackDown, harkening back to the mischievous swine of old. The Usos' major 'Mania moment felt like a cosmic joke, since more people would have remembered it had it taken place on the Kickoff in front of a fresh crowd who hadn't just bore witness to the most welcome surprise in company history.
Jinder Mahal won another title despite WWE having to cancel one leg of his "home"coming tour, the reason for his batsh*t WWE Championship reign to begin with, as a result of poor ticket sales. John Cena Vs. The Undertaker, one of the most dreamed-about WrestleMania matches ever, manifested as a three minute squash in which 'Taker annihilated the p*ssed-up Big Match John.
The most batsh*t story developed behind the curtain...
5. Shane McMahon: For F*ck's Sake
We were so close to giving Shane McMahon his due following WrestleMania 34.
Though his lengthy in-ring stint did deflate the Superdome crowd somewhat, this was an absurdly professional performance that McMahon felt duty-bound to enter in order to pay off a storyline spanning half a year. The thought of missing 'Mania must have eaten away at him, but that could have been the diverticulitis. His work looked worse than usual, offering at least some unintentional hilarity, but the spot in which he used the ropes to crawl towards partner Daniel Bryan was novel and psychologically sound. Moreover, we were at least spared the idea of Shane McMahon in the hot-tag spot, as if he was stronger than and needed to save arguably the best technical wrestler of all time.
Rumours swirled that, following the main event, an enraged Brock Lesnar threw the Universal Championship at Vince McMahon in gorilla at the height of a heated confrontation. On Wrestling Observer Radio, Dave Meltzer provided hilarious additional details. One man was not happy about Brock's attitude, and decided to square up to him: Shane McMahon.
Jesus Christ. The thought of Shane being so full of himself to think confronting Lesnar was a believable prospect is astonishing. He'd have fared just as well standing in front of a moving train. It's an infuriating story. The man who has made a career performing brave but carefully coordinated stunts onto inflatables deemed himself tough enough to go toe-to-toe with one of the most documented, decorated and dangerous men on the planet.
The only thing harder than Shane McMahon is the hard-on he has for himself.