7 Match Star Ratings For WWE Survivor Series 2020
WWE waved goodbye to the Undertaker at Survivor Series, which itself needs to Rest In Peace.
Survivor Series was the dumbest WWE pay-per-view of 2020.
Since Extreme Rules 2020 wore the tagline 'The Horror Show' amid a viral outbreak, and was based on which wrestler would first extract an eyeball, that is saying something. Let's also not forget Money In The Bank, a show on which the wrestlers were invited to 'Climb The Corporate Ladder!' in parallel with WWE firing multiple corporate staffers despite generating record profits, which the layoffs would not have remotely affected.
What next?
WWE Planes, Trains & Automobiles: a madcap show based on the quickest route out of Saudi Arabia?!
Imagine Celtic and Rangers transferring almost literally every player to one another weeks before the Old Firm. That impossible scenario would somewhat negate the toxic fascination ahead of the Old Firm. WWE is in narrative control of their derby, and they effectively do this for some f*cking reason. Because they're dumb? Because they think you're dumb? It is excruciating and exhausting, in any event.
It was bad enough, a few years back, when the 'Shake-Up' was held in April, because no attempt was ever made to make brand loyalty a thing. It is somehow even dumber now. The Draft takes place one month before the big derby. The Street Profits represented SmackDown last night. Looking back at their WWE run, it is the brand they should be least loyal to.
The whole thing is a f*cking farce and it needs to stop.
As for the match quality, not that it mattered much...
7. KICKOFF: 18-Man Inter-Brand Battle Royal
Kalisto and Rey Mysterio highlighted the customary stand-there-and-look-busy flesh wall with a bang-tidy sequence. That was quite good. Dolph Ziggler wore a cap backwards, '90s style. The New Generation isn't going to shag you, mate.
Shinsuke Nakamura seemed confused about which brand he was representing. He wore a red and blue outfit. He is as confused as everybody else.
Ricochet half-killed Cedric Alexander in a crazed and awesome elimination by suplexing him on the apron, for which he will be rewarded with a nine-minute Main Event match. Elias, in contrast, bumped like a felled tree at the slightest threat of a Jeff Hardy kick. Chad Gable unleashed his best-in-the-world-calibre suplex trifecta before Dominik Mysterio eliminated him. The Miz then eliminated him to win as the crafty veteran. The crafty veteran who took years and years to become as competent as Dominik was on day one.
Those were the highlights. This was mostly a sluggish bore.
The nicest possible thing one can write about this match is that a Money In The Bank briefcase holder won, and wasn't utterly buried, like so many prospective World Heavyweight Champions have been before him.
That's good!
The Money In The Bank briefcase holder is The Miz, who failed to evolve into a true headliner a decade ago.
That's bad.
Star Rating: ★★½