10 Most Embarrassingly Bad Wrestling Promos Of All Time

6. John Nord And Scott Norton: "On The Origin Of Flapjacks"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKxXr1s2TDw&list=PLSBKtXjWufGMdeL6dANInvEQhYvrA4zxA

There's a reason that 99.999% of John Nord promos started and ended with "HUSS!" The guy was about as eloquent as a shaved bear. Actually, it's entirely possible that both Nord and Norton were shaved bears, in which case this promo is actually pretty good. Incidentally, don't search the names of these gentlemen in conjunction with the word "bear" unless you're in the mood to get acquainted with a whole new way to enjoy their, uh, bodies of work.

Anyway, Nord -- who appears to be in the throes of a nasty asthma attack -- chooses to threaten the Texas Hangmen with that old pro-graps chestnut, the breakfast anecdote. Scott Norton, you see, once ate 298 pancakes for breakfast, and that's a lot of pancakes to be eating. That's why they named him "Flapjack." He just really likes buttermilk. 

Even if the pancake thing is the real origin of the nickname, don't say that on air, just say he flattens people. That's like having Jim Ross explain that Stone Cold Steve Austin is not really a sociopath, he let his tea cool off this one time, but he might be pretty tough anyway.

Spoiler: Scott Norton was a legitimate superhuman monster. They thought that his ability to pack away hotcakes was more relevant to professional wrestling than his ability to lift a car.