13 Truths Comic Book Fans Would Never Admit To Themselves

Just because you won’t admit it, doesn’t mean it ain’t true.

Denis Poroy/Invision/AP/AP/Press Association Images

Denis Poroy/Invision/AP/AP/Press Association Images

Let’s face it: comic book fans have never been completely honest with each other. We’ve all had that time when we’re on a message board or just yakking away at the comic book store and someone will mention something. Maybe it’s a book they hate or a creator they despise, and the rest of us will nod along in agreement. And in the back of your head, you’re thinking, “actually, I kind of like that.”

Even though comic book movies and superheroes in particular are hotter than ever right now, most of us grew up in a time when reading comics was something you kept to yourself. It was a marginalized hobby and going down to the comic book store sometimes made you feel like a politician visiting a brothel. So it’s no surprise that when those in this very small group found a point of agreement, we tended to go along with it.

But in reality, many comic fans probably have secret truths that they wouldn’t confess to their brethren. These are the things you probably wouldn’t discuss at the local shop for fear that you may be ostracized even further. And there’s no casting of stones here. We’re guilty of many of these things, too…

13. You Write Fanfiction

Fanfiction

CBS

What You Say: Is there anything worse than fanfiction? It’s written by arrogant fans who think they know better than the creators about how to write these characters, when really most of the fanfic authors couldn’t write their way out of a paper bag. The Enterprise falling through a wormhole and ending up in the world of Conan? Buffy discovering that Slayers are really mutants and enrolling at Xavier’s? And that’s not even getting into all the terrible slash-fic. What kind of pervert gets their rocks off by reading prose stories about imaginary characters banging?

But What You Really Mean: If everyone who insulted fanfic really felt that way about it, then there wouldn’t be so much of it out there on the Internet. And although you may sneer at it in public, chances are you’ve probably got a secret Fanfiction.net account, and it’s highly likely that you’ve used that account to either publish your own stories or to read and comment on other stories. True, there’s a lot of awful fanfic out there that would make high school English teachers contemplate ritual suicide, but there’s also good stuff out there and many published authors have said they wrote fanfic in the past. And yes, chances are you’ve also dipped into some of the more…*ahem* exotic realms of fanfiction on a few lonely nights.