And lo there were times where the old outweighed the new. Hollywood, replete with its excess and drive to capitalize, turned to its idols of old. Seeking to reap the benefits these treasured properties once stood for, the heathens would go about it all wrong and in the end anger the Movie Gods with their insolence. Seeking to curb such efforts of degradation, they would summon a man up to the mount of the Hills of Hollywood. There, in secret, he received their commandments on how to properly attempt to recapture the magic, whilst not soiling the memories of old.
All biblical linguistic humor aside, it takes a miracle to execute a remake that doesn’t seem to sully the reputation of the original film. It has to be said that the mere act of announcing a remake starts an uphill battle where the prestige and reputation of the original is either upheld or damaged beyond repair. If you do it right, you’ll continue to bring honor to the brand. If you fail, you’ll proceed to make yourself look like a fool, and leave a horrific footnote in the history of the franchise you were betting on. To avoid any such thing, here’s 10 commandments any filmmakers attempting such a feat should follow.
10. Thou Shalt Wait At Least Eight Years Before Remaking A Film
The most perplexing of all remakes has to be 2012′s The Amazing Spider-Man. While some would disagree that it’s not a remake, there are others (and there are quite a few of us) who felt that the by the numbers origin story cheapened, rather than revitalized, the brand. True, it had been 10 years since we’d seen Uncle Ben slain and Peter Parker learning that “with great power, comes great responsibility,” but only five years since the disastrous release of Sam Raimi’s bargain bin classic Spider-Man 3, which built off of that legacy and very much still embodied that storyline to the point where an Uncle Ben cameo was pretty regular in the series. Uncle Ben was still in our hearts, and yet we were forced to watch this new Uncle Ben die all over again. Worse still, he was played by the charismatic Martin Sheen, and dramatically underused.
If you’re going to remake a film, or a film franchise for that matter, you need to give some time between the last entry of the franchise and your newly reminted franchise to distance themselves. Warner Brothers had a good eight years of false starts, negotiations, and other pitfalls, before landing Christopher Nolan and successfully rebooting the Batman franchise. In those eight years, the competition grew in the comic film world.
But with every X-Men or Spider-Man flick, Batman was ready to learn from those successes and bring himself back to the modern audience in a more relevant fashion. Time is a luxury most films do not have, but big franchises like this can wait because they’re so iconic and omnipresent that they aren’t going away anytime soon. Do you want a fast Spider-Man movie, or a good Spider-Man movie?
We are currently seeking Film contributors on WhatCulture. To find out more about the perks of being a Film contributor, click here.
You Might Also Like...
- WWE RAW Review 6/17/2013: 5 Things We Learned
- Would Skyfall Have Been A Better Film If James Bond Used An iPhone?
- The Last Of Us: Why You Can’t Trust The Video Game Review Industry
8 Actresses Who Tricked You Into Thinking You Saw Them Nude
11 Irresistible Movie Moments That Wore Out Your Pause Button
100 Things Wrong With The Dark Knight Rises [Video]
10 Scenes You Won't Believe You Missed in 2012
10 Most Infuriating Movie Cliffhangers
10 Major Plot Holes You Probably Missed
10 Happy Movie Endings That Probably Had Horrific Consequences
12 Ruthless Movie Villains Who Were Defeated By Complete Fools








13 Comments
I’m still waiting for a good adaptation of The Bourne Identity.
I love the Bourne Series that Gilroy and company fostered, minus that crap Legacy picture that was just released on DVD.
That said, I would be interested to see them, maybe in eight years or so, revisit the books and start doing straight adaptations. It would yield more material, and it would also set itself up perfectly for a long running television series, if they wanted to.
Agreed, agreed. No. 6 even had me nodding furiously. Great article.
Why thank you, Ms. Maggy. :) I had to highlight The Addams Family because I think people forget too often that it was based on a pre-existing franchise, and it was so different from the original that had it been in someone else’s hands, it would have failed.
I’ve always wondered why there hasn’t been an attempt to hijack and sully Jaws’ good name. I guess whoever owns the rights has a bit of integrity, but that could just be wishful thinking
There was. It was called “Jaws: The Revenge” =P.
Seriously, I don’t think Spielberg would let any of his films get that type of treatment, as I’m sure he has some sort of stake in the proceedings. Although, they can feel free to remake the sequels all they want, because they couldn’t be as bad as I’ve heard those dogs are.
My worst nightmare is either a remake of the original Jaws or another horrid sequel. Also this list was spot on and if the studios followed it our world would be a much better place
Now I want you to picture this…Jaws: The Musical! Starring Justin Bieber as The Shark, Russell Crowe as Quint, Andy Samberg as Hooper, and Justin Timberlake as Brody.
Are you screaming yet?
The Amazing Spiderman was five years after Spiderman 3, not six. (Which helps your case…)
Thanks for that. That was a slip on my part, and I thought I checked it. I don’t know how I lumped Spider-Man 3 into 2008, which would have put it up against The Dark Knight (and totally obliterated any memory of its existence).
Spiderman 3 was in 2007, five years before the Amazing Spiderman. Not four.
This author obviously didn’t bother to proofread. So I can’t be bothered to read. Abandoned.
Due to popular demand (and the fact that there was that ONE typo nagging away at my mind), the Spider-Man section was corrected to reflect that it had been five years, not four, between Spider-Man 3 and The Amazing Spider-Man. Apologies to those of you offput by minor, correctable errors; and thanks to those who spotted the mistake.