There’s one in every group. That irritating friend who takes it upon himself—yes, it’s always a “he”—to predict the endings of movies as you’re watching them. Overinflating the insight of his movie knowledge and the acuteness of his reasoning with highbrow yet trite observations, he enjoys nothing more than to showcase his expertise to acquaintances old and new, especially when females are present, but since you don’t know any girls and the other acquaintances never come back, he essentially just comes off as an oblivious and inconsiderate dunderhead in the face of your ever tactful suggestions to remain silent and watch the movie.
Sometimes his predictions are right, but what difference does that make? Even when normal people make offhand predictions out loud that accidentally come true—such as the “Tim Curry’s fate” incident that occurred during a screening of Congo in 1996, the “brothers” debacle of Desperado in 2003, or the “house location” exigency of Silence of the Lambs in 2008—they feel like a complete jerks.
So at your own risk, keep reading to relive and perhaps even recover from 10 especially irritating movie experiences that we’ve probably all had to sit through at one time or another.
No, The Empire Strikes Back will not be on this list. I’m already encouraging our titular friends just by including the picture. At least that’s one item on a list they won’t be able to predict.
But nonetheless, prepare for the most epically educational ride ever. At least in your friend’s eyes.
This article was first posted on June 21, 2013