10 Reasons Nolan’s Batman Is Actually A Total Pussy

Batman is bad-ass right? Let’s look at the case for the defence: he can just appear in Gotham after being...

Simon Gallagher

Executive Editor

The World's End - Batman

Batman is bad-ass right?

Let’s look at the case for the defence: he can just appear in Gotham after being stranded in the middle of nowhere in a supposedly inescapable prison that he just escaped with worrying ease, and was able to convince everyone it was simply “because he’s Batman.” He had his spine punched back to full health, and survived two falls with a rope around his waist that would have cut mere mortals in twain; he recovered from a debilitating knee injury that required a super magic robo-knee brace without so much as a limp after being beaten up badly by a hulking Bane…

In fact, when you think about it, being beaten up actually heals Batman twice in The Dark Knight Rises. Take that Chuck Norris you over-rated ginger ninja.

But, what you might have missed among all the posturing and ringing-hand, grim realism is that Nolan’s Batman is probably the worst superhero there’s ever been on screen.

As a character, Bale’s Bruce Wayne is great, and his Batman is definitely engaging, but while both are regonisable on the surface, Nolan’s artistic agenda scooped out the core of the character, and replaced with something all together a lot less bad-ass.
Without hyperbole, Nolan’s Batman is a pussy, and while that might same a particularly bold

Let’s be honest, Batman being a bit wet was good for Nolan’s agenda, but it wasn’t any good for the mythology of the character. Dramas – which is what Nolan was making – are hinged on weakness inherently; but Batman, by definition is not – his very essence, his origin determines that he makes his weakness his strength.

Honourable Mention

His Opponents Are Comically Ridiculous

Aside from the stupid, but predictable problem with enemies being overly generous and attacking individually, rather than simply overwhelming the bat, the fight chorerography in Nolan’s trilogy was pretty impressive.

Sadly, we didn’t actually get to see most of it, thanks to Nolan’s odd combat cinematography that missed pretty much everything, and shook everything else up way too much. But it wasn’t bad enough to miss the henchmen who inconcievably fell over without contact – suggesting quite awfully, that Batman wasn’t really fighting them…