Hollywood’s obsession with re-treading old ground has become so warped and widespread, that it’s almost inevitable that one day our favourite films from childhood will be forever tarnished. My generation was the first to watch the Star Wars Special Editions, and we sat through the prequels in cinemas the first time round, before all this old-fangled 3D malarkey came along. We’ve gotten used to being betrayed by George Lucas, so when the fourth Indiana Jones film came along, we got the same sick feeling in the pit of our stomachs – the feeling of “this is going to be terrible, but I’m not a proper fan unless I see it.”
So we did. And you know what? It wasn’t that bad. I know that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has become as fashionable to hate as The Phantom Menace or Highlander 2: The Quickening. But while both of those are genuinely terrible, and a genuine betrayal of the originals, Crystal Skull is… okay. Not great, not even all that good, but okay.
Before you all start going nuts, I’m a huge fan of the original trilogy. I consider Last Crusade to be one of the greatest action films of all time, and Sean Connery’s finest hour since he left the Bond series. The point I’m trying to make is that, as much as it’s understandable to hate Lucas for his crimes against cinema, in the grand scheme of things there are films and people far more deserving of our wrath. At least Crystal Skull has a story. At least it has some characters we care about. At least it has good acting in places. In a marketplace increasingly dominated by Michael Bay and his derivatives, these things that we take for granted are increasingly in short supply.
So without any further ado and to celebrate the release of Indiana Jones franchise on Blu-ray, here are the top 10 reasons why it’s time to stop getting mad about Indy 4 and start getting even over the films that really deserve our ire. Remember to keep your bullwhip handy and watch out for snakes.
We are currently seeking Films contributors on WhatCulture. To find out more about the perks of being a Films contributor, click here.