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England in the World Cup, finding out Santa doesn’t exist, the first time you have sex and watching the films of Michael Bay, any of them, are all disappointing life experiences.

That sinking feeling you get when you have been looking forward to something, only for it to blow up in your face in a puff of missed opportunity, it can be a hard thing to get over. This is especially true when it comes to movies. If it’s a follow-up to a smash hit blockbuster or an adaptation of a beloved franchise, sometimes productions crumble under the pressure and end up being critical failures.

So make yourself a cup of tea and come with us on a journey of broken dreams as WhatCulture uses this scientific formula

scientific formula

to work out and count down the 100 Most Disappointing Films Of All Time. And take note, we’re not saying every film on this list is a bad film, some are good and some have even gone on to become ”cult classics,” but all are disappointments in terms of what they could have been.

 

100. RoboCop 2 (1990)

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After the success of his bleak Batman graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns, Frank Miller was approached to write the sequel to one of the best films to come out of the 1980s, RoboCop. Paul Verhoeven was busy with Total Recall and unable to return, and directing duties passed to The Empire Strikes Back director Irvin Kershner.

Even with Peter Weller reprising his role as Alex Murphy/RoboCop and the inclusion of Verhoeven style news reports and tongue-in-cheek adverts, RoboCop 2 failed to take anything else from the first movie. Instead of carrying on the humanization of RoboCop he was almost reset to how he was before his journey of self discovery that concluded with him killing the man who was responsible for his death.

Frank Miller’s script was considered unfilmable and ultimately rewritten. The violence was increased, satire diluted and the decision to make one of the main antagonists a pre-teen named Hob was heavily criticised. Both Weller and Nancy Allen who returned as Officer Lewis, made their feelings known that they thought the film was a negative experience to work on. RoboCop 2 needed the Verhoeven magic.

Frank Miller’s original script did resurface in comic book form, however in many ways it’s thankful that his story wasn’t turned into a feature as it’s not very good either.

 

99. The Lovely Bones (2009)

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With the Lord Of The Rings trilogy under his belt and King Kong being a fairly decent (if overlong) remake, when it was announced that Peter Jackson would be tackling Alice Sebold’s bestselling novel The Lovely Bones, the general consensus was that Jackson was the best person to bring the books themes to the cinema.

The story centers around a teenage girl named Susie Salmon who is raped and murdered by a next door neighbour. Looking down from the Afterlife, Susie watches her family deal with her murder while she attempts to come to terms with her own death.

Where the book managed to find the right balance between the more supernatural afterlife moments and the horrific events unfolding in the real world, Jackson missed the mark completely and the transitions between the two were jarring to say the least. Although most of the cast acted their socks off, especially Stanley Tucci who was on top form as pedophile Harvey, it seemed that Jackson had forgotten to focus on telling a good story and instead his priority was creating pretty imagery.

 

98. Lara Croft Tomb Raider (2001)

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Anyone who grew up with the first PlayStation, the chances are that you had one or two dirty thoughts about Lara Croft. So when it was announced that Angelina Jolie would be bringing her to life in a big screen movie, teenage boys around the world jumped for joy with awkward bulges in their pants. The Tomb Raider games were pretty decent so with the ideal casting choice, we were all hoping for a fun, Indiana Jones type, archaeological adventure film.

But we should have known better. In a typical Hollywood move, they pumped out a film that was full of forgettable action scenes, a weak plot that couldn’t carry the ambition and direction that lacked any drive to generate excitement. Jolie’s performance was praised but everything else was was panned.

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This article was first posted on January 1, 2013