12 WTF Horror Films You Need To See Before You Die

Dare you watch Charlie Sheen's killer bear movie?

Rock N Roll Nightmare
Miramax

“Wanting people to listen, you can’t just tap them on the shoulder anymore,” says John Doe (Kevin Spacey) in Se7en. “You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you’ll notice you’ve got their full attention.”

It’s a method that, for better or worse, appeals to a good number of horror filmmakers. Why waste time with character and dialogue when you could be hitting your audience across the head every few moments?

The trouble with that approach is that it leads to movies that, after 30 minutes of escalating insanity, go completely barking mad for the next hour. Imagine being stuck inside a pinball machine whose major sound effect is Nicolas Cage’s unhinged laughter, and you’ve got an idea what it’s like to watch these films.

Take Troll 2 (please), a movie that ticks all the boxes of a WTF movie, from the I-can’t-believe-someone-came-up-with-that storyline (which involves vegetarian trolls) to the straight-faced delivery of lines like, “You can’t p*ss on hospitality – I won’t allow it!” Throw in some saucer-eyed performances and a show-stopping finale where a witch in a bad make-up job is thwarted by a bologna sandwich, and you’ve got an anti-masterpiece on your hands.

Troll 2 may be the most celebrated film of its genre, but it’s only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. For movies about disco exorcists and Filipino vampires, step right this way. 

12. Riki-Oh: The Story Of Ricky (1991)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZYXtFJTrvk

Part monster movie, part prison drama, part martial arts movie and part messed-up strange – make that a lot messed-up strange – Riki-Oh is a genre-hopping assault on good taste that, like a septic tank explosion, must be seen to be believed. Too ludicrously excessive to be taken as anything other than a romp, it exists solely to snap bones, spray blood and give you a good time, and you can’t say fairer than that.

Ricky is a student of Chi Gung, a “mystical kung-fu style” that involves tearing off jaws, gouging out eyes and hacking off limbs, which comes in handy when he’s imprisoned for slaughtering his girlfriend’s killers. The corrupt governors want to recruit him for their opium business, but when Ricky refuses, the warden hires an army of thugs to torture him. One of these fellas is so tough that, rather than admit defeat, he disembowels himself and starts strangling Ricky with his intestines.

The warden’s patience has its limits, however, and after watching Ricky be a fly in the ointment, he decides to transform himself into a (hilariously unconvincing) monster for their final showdown. Prison Break, this is not. 

 
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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'