If the 2012 summer movie season is any indication, we have finally reached a point where the new generation is actually dumber than the previous one. We might as well return to the primordial ooze and try again. This stupefying of the human race was actually helped along by the films this summer, the worst summer film season I’ve ever witnessed.
Sure, summer films of years past appealed to kids. But they weren’t dumb movies. They had internal logic, played by their own rules, were original, and contained great performances.
Think about Star Wars. It has lightsabers, Wookies, talking robots, and The Force. Still, within its context of a galaxy far, far away, the film works. The script might sound crazy, but all of the characters have motivations and operate within the laws of their world. Even fantastical summer films set on Earth, like E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Edward Scissorhands, or Batman Begins, all remain true to their characters and the rules set out by the script.
Not anymore. Now we can apparently just throw whatever we want at the screen, smear it busily with CG, and toss it into theaters for the texting crowds of video-game morons.
While this list is by no means comprehensive – almost all of the films this summer were awful – these are the top five dumbest.
First, the runner-ups:
RUNNER-UP #2: The Hulk can’t control when he transforms (except when he can) in The Avengers.
RUNNER-UP#1: Peter Parker creates mechanical webslingers in one day apparently using a Swatch watch and a screwdriver in The Amazing Spider-Man.
And now, onto the top five…
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