5 Kids Movies That Completely Suck

We all have our favorite childhood memories. Those warm fuzzy days, eating ice cream for breakfast, getting up at 6...

Barry O Halloran

Contributor

kazaam

We all have our favorite childhood memories. Those warm fuzzy days, eating ice cream for breakfast, getting up at 6 am to watch cartoons. Sneaking into 18 rated movies. We all did something along those lines when we were young and innocent, blissfully unaware that TV shows or movies could in fact suck. You mean the Super Mario Bros. Movie wasn’t the greatest film of all time?

Nostalgia can do funny things. In fact, as I have learned from this article, sometimes it’s best to just accept the memories and pretend that you had cool taste as a kid. However, if you ever do venture into those dreamy memories (as in the case of this feature) it can be fun to revisit some of the movies you held in such regard and see if they hold up or improve upon your initial childhood viewing experience. Spoiler alert? What do you think!?

The following 5 movies I have chosen are the worst of a long list of films I loved as a kid, but are actually terrible. And where better to start, than with the aforementioned Super Mario Bros. Movie.

 

5. Super Mario Bros. (1993)

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Over the last few years we have seen some fairly decent video game to movie adaptations. At least, they can be classed as decent when comparing them to the first movies that Hollywood developed using video games as the source material. While most have been terribly disrespectful and nothing but quick cash ins, others have at least tried to remain faithful, yet still provide a stand alone movie experience which is obviously hit and miss for the general audience.

But even if you shudder at the memories of Doom or laugh at the absolute hilarity of Dead or Alive, video games adaptations are in much better standing than when the first, and possibly worst, was released all the way back in 1993.

Super Mario Bros. is so terrible, I couldn’t bring myself to finish watching it in preparation for this article. It doesn’t even fall into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. Mario is one of the most recognizable gaming characters in the world but hopefully most people will be able to erase this god awful excuse for a movie. Bob Hoskins has stated it is his worst movie of all time, the cute lovable mushroom headed Toad was replaced by a guitar playing weirdo, Yoshi’s cameo was laughable and Denis Hopper’s ‘Bowser’ was beyond ridiculous – and that’s saying something indeed.

While not the worst movie on this list, the film’s definitely worthy of it’s place in the top 5.